Cosmetic Surgery jokes

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"