You jokes
My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.
"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
Memes
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!