You jokes
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.