You jokes

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.

What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.

What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourself!

This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

You are all going to be pun-ished!

Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?

She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

What do you call an orphan's family picture?

A selfie.

What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?

Carlos.

Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D

How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?

You octoply, obviously.

How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?

0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.

Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.