You jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Pretty much
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..