You jokes
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!