You jokes
How do you get 1 million followers?
You run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
"I will Always Love You!"
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.