You jokes

What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.

Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.

Lil Jimmy: Why?

Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.

Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man!

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.

What do you call an orphan family tree?

A tree stump.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

What do you call a decapitated politician?

A severed head of state.

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!