You jokes
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
What do you call a family picture for an orphan?
A selfie.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."