You jokes

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

What do you do when your baby starts screaming?

Use more lube.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?

A: You gonna eat that?

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."

I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."

Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.

My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Dear math,

Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.

Thanks.

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?

For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

He came in twice.

(like if u understand)

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."