You jokes
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
What you think about my sudoku record? Evil sudoku, no notes, no hints!
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.