Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
You Jokes
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
