You jokes
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.