You jokes

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.

Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.

When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?

Flip it upside down.

Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.