What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
You Jokes
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
