You jokes
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
Memes
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!