You jokes
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What do you call an emo that crossed a road? Roadkill.
This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."
Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.