You jokes

What do you call a Chinese billionaire?

Cha Ching.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

Harlem, New York.

What do you call a Mexican's prison?

The border.

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"

"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"

when is it normal to freeze before being raped?

when a policeman rapes you.

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.

Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?

It was Eight-Nothing.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

COP: Are you high?

ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

Why are washers better than babies?

Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.

When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.

How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.