You jokes
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!