You jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
Damn it I discovered digital art. Made this for my laptop lockscreen 😂 I drew the panda btw
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?