You jokes

So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."

What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?

A: Cuatro Cinco.

What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?

Boi Ling.

How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

A straw.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!

There is a thin line between death and life!

You won't live to see it.....

The Cardiogram will!!

What do you call a Chinese millionaire?

Cha ching.

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up.

If you get it, you get it.

Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"

Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.