You jokes
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Get up, you lazybones!
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."