You jokes
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
"You only get offended because it's true"
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Like if you love food!
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!