You jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
Memes
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”