You jokes
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
Memes
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.