You jokes
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
How do you start a rave in Africa? Stick a pizza onto the ceiling.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.