You jokes

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You can hide your own Easter Eggs!

What do you call a Trump Supporter?

A piece of $hit!

What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

Suicide squad.

How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?

Sing a koala-by.

If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.

Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.

What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

you.

Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?

A: He rapes D minor.

What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?

Mash potato.

When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

A priest walks into a wine store.

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."