You jokes
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
I can't help myself I put it down on paper All the different stages, memories of us That's the only way I know that I can shake it Writing all our pages, every single thought I know you don't like when I'm nostalgic No, you've never tried to understand Say you're doing fine, don't think about it Like I do.
Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to
I can't wait for you to recognize the stories Like when you said i was beautiful Will you act as if you haven't even heard it? Nothing of it really matters 'Cause I know you don't like when I'm nostalgic Go back to the start to get an end Say you're doing fine, don't think about it Like I do.
Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to
Just to get over what we lost, what we lost I put it in words to clear my thoughts And just to get over, over us I had to, I had to
Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to
sorry kenny?!
If you play Minecraft too much, you belong to the streets.
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.
Explain Bear, I want to kiss you.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
You will never have a girlfriend.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.