You jokes

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

🚲 🚲 🚲

😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What place can you always find suicidal cows at?

"McDonald's."

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.

"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.

"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"

"Good, but where's the p?"

"Running down my leg."

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.

What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.

How do you start a rave in Africa? Stick a pizza onto the ceiling.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."