You jokes

If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.

Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.

Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

What do you call a white man that’s blind?

Asian eyes.

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD.

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Fuck you, that's why.

What did the toaster say to the bread?

"I want you inside me!"

What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?

DOUGH-KNIGHT

What say the child to the man? Shalom.

Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

You know why they call me 007?

0 girls.

0 chances.

7 restraining orders.

How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.