You jokes
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!
Memes
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
Your mama.
Why do you joke about Helen Keller?
She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
You know buddy, that is really...
boroning.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.