You Jokes

Satisfaction

Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?

Nut

I got banana nut bread for you.

Oh no, the nuts are missing!

Oh, I found them!

You know where they are?

UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!

Dad

I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Country

To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!

Guy

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

Pedophile

Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?

Penny

So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?

That don't make no cents.

Orphan

If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???

Parent

Why did your parents abandon you?

Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."

Lava

"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."