You jokes

Friend

If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."

Memes

Shower

What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?

A shower ma! (shawarma)

Movie

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

Tourist

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

Letter

What did A say to Y?

"You cannot be alpha like me." :)

Y said, "Why? (Y)"

Smell

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

"P,u!"

"P,u who?"

"P,u, you smell like shit!"

Apple

What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?

He's got some "sweet" moves!

Egg

What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.

House

Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.

John Cena

Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.

Son: No way, you can’t see him though.

Mom: God!

Son: What?

Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).

Son: Also because I’m John Cena.

Mom: Where, where’d ya go?

John Cena: Hey, Mom.

Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.