What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
You Jokes
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
