Wishing well jokes

Q: How do you know a wishing well works?

A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

What is George Floyd's favorite song?

"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"

Genie: "Wish granted!"

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.