You jokes
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
What time is it when you say "bad day?"
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
What can you build with people? A boat!
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
Knock knock.
Jou is there?
Why don't you speak English?
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.
I guess I failed.