You jokes
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
You are so dumb.
You are so cat.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.