You jokes

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...

Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

Now I got a 31 on the ACT.

What do you call an orphan with a gun?

(No) home shooter.

Do you love God?

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?

Surrounded by loved ones.

What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?

A liquor cabinet.

What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?

A Sundown Smackdown.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.