You jokes
Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".
I commented back to you and portory.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
What are you on? YouTube.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."
Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels.
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?