You jokes

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?

Because they never take a chill pill.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

Hi, my name is Unknown Guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week!

Thanks, leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in Google Forms or own the website.

Hint: Pictures of woman.

Btw, for men only!

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.

You gonna poop someday.

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

What do you call an orphan? Homeless.

What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.

Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait.

"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."

"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"

Comment anything if you like what you saw with Gwen in her bra!

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.

Like the faker Gwen?

Neighbor 1: Knock knock.

Neighbor 2: You forgot the 3rd knock.

Odin: .....

Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?

It's about time!

Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?

I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.

Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.