You jokes

What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?

What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.

Have you heard the Twin Tower jokes? Well, they're more down than the Twin Towers.

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen

Qwen, I have to tell you something, so say "hi" and I will tell you.

Hey, why did you copy me, you dumb-ass prince?

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

You are family.

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?

Because they never take a chill pill.

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?