You jokes

What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?

A roTHOT.

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.

"Fish, why you no fly?"

"I don't like being caught naked."

Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.

What do you call something that eats kids?

An upset mother.

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large!

No, you!

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

U were accidental.

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

What do you call a communist?

Braxton.