You jokes

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

I can't handle these puns...

But I can HAND you some puns!

Budum tiss!

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

I know where you live! I saw you before!

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.

What did the parents say to the orphans?

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.

What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?

A mustach-io!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till their parents come home.

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?

The Munch Bunch.

When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?

Push 'em.