You jokes

"Prince, do you love the faker, Princess, or me, the real Gwen?"

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?

It's about time!

Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?

I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

You gonna poop someday.

What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?

GHOST MUSTERD

Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.

What do you call a cow that is secret?

AnonyMOOus.

Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”

Soldier says, “Mhm.”

Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”

Soldier says, “Really?”

The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"

Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?

She ended up under the doc[tor].

What do you call a dev that is dead?

A deadveloper.

What do you call a too round egg?

A prEGGnant egg.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

If I get an atom, I would split it with you.