You jokes

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

The bully: You're gay.

The nerd: I am.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: Then what are you?

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.

Knock knock.

Fuck you!

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

What do you call a fish with no booty?

What did the wall say to the wall?

"Meet you at the corner."

Have you seen my uncle?

Jesus: I have.

God: Me too.

Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!

Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?

Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!

*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*

Lionel: AHHHHHHH

Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

How do you spell "I. P. With U?"

Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.

What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.

What do you call a not potty trained human?

Amber Heard.

You got a pig head!

You are so dumb.

You are so cat.