You jokes
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
How bout you Rhydon deez nuts?
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.