You jokes
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
2Pac-square
What do you call a rapper who loves to cook?
A mixtape chef.
What do you call a rapper who's always cold?
Chill MC.
Memes
"Say what you want about the deaf."
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?
Lil Plant
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
What do you call a rapper who's ALWAYS on time?
Punctual P