You jokes

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

Do you love water?

Then you love 75% of me.

Friend: Do you know him?

Other Friend: Know who?

Friend: My dick!

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

You suck.

Can you see me?

Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

What do you call roller skates you can walk in?

"Wock n' roll."

It's ice to see you.

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

"No, it's 26."

"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

"You're missing one more."

"I'll give you the D later."

"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

Q: What do you call a tsunami?

A: Your mom's water breaking.

Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.

No, what did you get? Older.

You are in the airway, how funny!

When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."

"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.