You jokes
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
I love you and I love you too. I love ❤️.
Memes
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...
"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.