You jokes

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.

How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?

One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.

Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!

Is your tap water running well?

Beta, go catch it!

Is your oven running?

Then you better go catch it!

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.

What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.

You add words = bullshit.

What do you call hot cups?

Sunglasses.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

Hi, how are you doing today?

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!