You jokes

The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

What do you call a male ladybug?

Trans.

Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?

A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.

AKA, you're up for adoption.

What do you call a Mongolian swindler?

A Khan artist.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?

"Gene-ious!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."