You jokes

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

"How do you make 7 even?"

"Take away the s."

How do you make a mime cry?

You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.

Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.

How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.

Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.

What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."