You jokes
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because I'd smash.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
You look like a cat.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!