"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
You Jokes
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.
Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!
Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
