You jokes

When your mum tells you to help your granny.

And you unplug life support!

What do you call a school that can talk?

A school with a face!

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

What do you call fake noodles?

Impasta!

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!

How do you know it's full?

Because there's not mushroom inside.

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

What did one ballsack say to another?

"You stay here, I'll go pee."

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.

What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.

What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver!

Why did the AI go to school?

To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"!

Ha ha ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy, fellow humans.