You jokes

What do you call a fat downie?

A couch potato.

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

What do you never say to gay people?

IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️‍🌈

What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?

A megasus!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

My name is Ach.

Ach who?

Bless you!

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

What do you call a fast boat?

Usain Boat.

Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Answer: Special forces.

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.

Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.

How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.

What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.

What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.