You jokes

I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.

I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Where can you find the most dads?

Milk Island.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.

I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.

I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol