You jokes

Dog

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

Alien

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

Kid

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

Memes

Dog

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Cow

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

Dad

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Bathroom

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Trauma

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Woman

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Rope

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

Dad

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Gun

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.