You jokes
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Suicide squad.
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the “no-bell” prize.
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
Are you Pikachu? Cause I want to take a "pik" at you.
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!