You jokes
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
Nuns be like: Can I spread the word, but check for you?
America is filled with MAYO MONKEYS (you could make a mayo sandwich!).
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.