Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
You Jokes
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What do you call women's rights: A blank sheet of paper.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
