You jokes
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Did you know, the average gay person likes men?
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.