You jokes
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll-up.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
You look pretty today... April Fools!
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"