What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
You Jokes
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?
Me: 😈
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
