You jokes
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"
Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
A bipolar bear.
Lol
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mud slide.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.
If your name is Caleb or Connor, you have a problem.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?