You jokes
What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: W.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
You are fat.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.