You jokes

What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?

Blue Jay Simpson!

You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?