You jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
You smell!
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
Like if you think someone is gay.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
Like and comment if you play Fortnite!
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.