You jokes
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
Your forehead is so big you look like MegaMind.
Your mamma so fat, Thanos clapped 4 times.
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.