When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
You Jokes
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
What do you call cringe?
You.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Rubber-toe.
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
What do you call a burnt retard?
Tomato
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.