What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
You Jokes
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
"Stop being racist. You wouldn't put that for blacks."
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A. a PadaJuan.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.