You jokes

Roses are red, Violets are ugly.

Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.