How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
You Jokes
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
@ the N-word of your dreams, why you not say nun on the fuckin community? You should talk on ther my g.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
