Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
You Jokes
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
You have 10 to live.
“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”
10, 9, 8...
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
