WELCOME TO THE FAST FOOD DIVORCE CENTER WHERE YESTERDAYS LIES ARE TODAYS FRIES
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly. I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking but she said she didn't want any. When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, "PEDOPHILE! THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD."
heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible.
I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday, I chose the dog
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but toady is a gift that is why it I called the present.
Yesterday I made food using oil- Olive oil (I love oil)
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he cant get 5 stars because he ain't wanted
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic where yesterday's meat is todays treat. How may I be of service?
Bro yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this: *error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance* Anyone know what bird that is?
I overdosed on viagra yesterday, It was the hardest day of my life
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if shes jealous when her phone dies.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party.and it was lit
yesterday i was asked where my parents are i said getting milk
Yesterday during The storm there was a blackout, so I shot him
Yesterday i saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no so i asked him if he needed help. And he said yes so i let him in my car and said dont worry you’ll be home with you parents soon. He said my parents died. I said i know.
