Yesterday Jokes

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D

wHAT DID I EAT FOR BREAKFAST YESTERDSAY?

10 YEAR OLDS

Yesterday, a guy threw a litre of milk at me.

How dairy!

You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

Next time you get a call from them just answer the phone and say "Pizza Hut abortion clinic where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.

I threw a lamp at an emo? i tried to lighten up his day.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister and she said' you fuck a lot like dad I said "really mum said that too."

my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.

SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. Shit. My mum was like what did you just say child??? Sister: I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh...... Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

My sister made some pie and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... This pie is very sugarplum-y. She said what do you mean by that? I said It tastes like sugarplums...

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work...

He’s a suicide bomber.

My Crush: I cut 4 inches of my hair yesterday Me: So? My Crush 4 Inches is alot! Me: Oh yeah?

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...

Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off

Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.