Yesterday Jokes

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment. Teacher: What kind of appointment?? Me: I had an appointment with a cut day😈😈😈

True story

Why cant you fool an aborted fetus Because it wasn't born yesterday

got fired from the bank yesterday

they caught me drinking on the job

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping and I was starving so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times but nothing new was in their

Say this when you answer a spam call... Hi welcome to bobs taco shack and funeral home. Wear yesterdays grief is todays beef.

(Phone call) This is Franks funeral home and grill where yesterday’s grief is todays beef. How may we help you ?

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Yesterday I made a website for orphans. But it doesn't have a home.

Why do orphan got 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? because it was family tree project

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

2 fe male mouse met and one spoke yesterday I met a mouse he was black and he had wings and he had some cool sharp teeth he said he only at night

other mouse : ummm...thats a bat

that asshole he told me that he is a pilot

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".

I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it