Year jokes
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
Memes
6 year old me in bible study trying to figure out where the dinosaurs were
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.