Year jokes

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

What month has 28 days?

All of them.

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

If R. Kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life.

R. Kelly: I feel you.

Remember 2000? It was scary.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.