Year jokes

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

If R. Kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life.

R. Kelly: I feel you.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

What month has 28 days?

All of them.

Remember 2000? It was scary.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.