Year jokes

Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

If R. Kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life.

R. Kelly: I feel you.

Remember 2000? It was scary.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!