Year Jokes

I found a child on the street homeless and they were really nice so I took them Ho,e then I said who's better Biden or trump they said they support trump they r now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOOMERANG AND MY DAD only the boomerang came back its been 14 years wheres my dad

hi koko you siad we met a few years ago what is your real name lol

*son comes out as gay* me: WHATS 17 MORE YEARS

why doesent santa have kids becouse he only comes once a year

My wife is pregnant with a 3 year old so I gave her medicine but now she’s pregnant with a 5 year old

we were versing year 8 at footy and they were mostly black so, I told a my white friend to WATCH OUT!!!

My wife and I have been married over 30 years. But don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies”, I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point..they sure as hell aren’t real now!

A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down: TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY".OK!!!

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That's my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can't. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again

What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's twenty of them

I like my cigar's like I like my women Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack

a girl comes home finds her dad and 4 year old brother on the sofa she says dad why is he wearing that face mask the dad buckles his belt and says theirs more for you hunny

I dated an Orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an Orphan