Year jokes
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Me when i was 7 be like
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"