Year

Year jokes

Telescope

    • The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

    Orphan

    • Why do orphans hate any milk?

    Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

    Nut

    • Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

    Friend: May.

    Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

    Bad Luck

    • Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

    Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

    Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

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    • Year memes

    Soup

    • When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"

    COVID-19

    • R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

    Depression

    • I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

    I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

    Dad

    • This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

    Marriage

    • Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

    Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

    Magician

    • Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

    Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

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    • Jack and Jill

    • We're gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    They’re draining the economy doooown!

    They’ve spent our budget on weed

    and lube to spill Jack’s seed.

    They’ve ruined our wonderful town!

    We're gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    They have no moralityyyy.

    They’re spreading degeneracy.

    We ain't what we used to be.

    We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

    but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

    They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.

    Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

    We’re gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill!

    They’ve banked off buying boooze!

    They’ll drink and sell the price

    at the original times thrice.

    Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

    We’re gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    Their kids’re in the business tooo!

    They’re draining all our banks.

    Give 'em well deserved spanks.

    We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

    Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

    What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!

    A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

    It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!

    WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

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    • Condom

    • True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

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