Happy new year ๐ฅณ
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
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Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Things I wouldโve missed if my suicide attempt didnโt fail in 2020 My attempt in 2021 And my attempt this year
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
I can't believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean... All I did was take a day off!
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common? A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
Aboriginals around for 50,000 year invented the spear.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said "how sick?". I said "well I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister".
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years? "New year, no me"
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation.....
Guys it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years
What do you call a 17 year old orphan? Homeless
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis
Last year, got kicked out of the Hospital for telling covid patients to stay positive
i remember last year all these biches called me lame so i stoped the simping and pretended i was gay, now i think theyre all fucking with me. im an L G B T Q imposter got cut last year know ive made the roster and you may think im a monester. im just just tryna see some titties.
small word of advice:Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don't realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old ladies house...
Oh my! Goodness sakes child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both
My 3 year old sister kept saying i like your cut g everytime she does i dodge and close my eyes but she's the one who always end up running
