New Wrote Jokes

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."

This joke is so bad I don't even know what I wrote at this point.

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?

Because Sally wrote the invitations!

McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:

cabbage _50

Carrots-50

Cooking fat -100

Onions_20

Tomato-20

salt-10

Total=250

She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.

McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.

His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:

TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."

Smart kid!

Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."